Exercise 1 and 2

Recently I've begun participating in a group workshop on writing.com. We've begun doing writing exercises, and they've been quite helpful. The first one I didn't do so hot, but the second I did much better:


Exercise 1: Sensory

A sweaty arm brushed against Melanie’s, slicking her skin with alien liquid. She jerked away, only to plunge face-first into a humid forest of chest hair.

“Oh my God,” she muttered, pushing hard with both hands. Curses clanged in her ears as she bounced off more bodies, finally coming to a rest against a wall in the corner. The familiar strains of one of her favorite songs filled the venue, sending shivers down on her. If only she could see!

Gathering her courage, she shoved bodies out of her way, getting punches and curses and once even a squeeze in return. It didn’t matter, though; she had to get closer, had to be in the front. Once he saw her, everything would just fall into place, as it was meant to be.

Stephan began singing, and her urgency increased. It had to be this song. If she didn’t make it up front where he could see her, then all would be lost. But an impenetrable wall of flesh blocked her every move. Tears pricked her eyes as she struggled to breathe in the hot, smoke-filled air.

Then she fell to the filthy floor and began crawling through legs, determined to achieve her goal. A boot crunched down on her hand, another jabbed her leg. Her knee came down in a cold puddle of something she didn’t want to think about, and still more legs, more bodies, more obstacles.

Crying, nose dripping, filthy from head to toe, one questing hand found the way clear as the music became almost unbearably loud. The stage! She’d made it. Now to get Stephan’s attention…

Hands gripped her arms and began dragging her backwards.

“Uh-uh, missy,” a rough voice growled in her ear. “You’re getting too close.”

“Stephan! Stephan! It’s me, Melanie!” She screamed and screamed, clawing at the hands, until the music faded away.



Exercise 2: Character

Melanie leaned against the grimy brick wall, cradling her hand against her chest. She could barely move her fingers, and they hurt like the devil. God, she was such a mess. Brown stains covered her black dress, and there was something that looked like puke ground into the laces of one boot.

But she didn’t care. She was going to see Stephan, talk to him, make him understand that they belonged together. If only she’d been able to reach the stage and get his attention, she sure as shit wouldn’t be standing in an alley behind the Bottleneck, waiting for the concert to end. Concert. What a joke. A stinky, smelly bar with room for only fifty people? That wasn’t a concert, it was a party. A party she’d been kicked out of.

Fuming, she paced back and forth, trying to ignore the way her boots rubbed against her heels. Hot Topic hadn’t carried her size, but she’d bought them anyway, who cared if they were half a size too small? They were kick ass boots that laced clear up to her knees.

The steel door clanged open, making her jump. If it was one of those sonofabitching body guards—

It was Stephan. For a second she couldn’t move, transfixed by the sight of him after so long. He twisted open a bottle of water and took a drink. His hair was black now, instead of the dirty blonde color it was last time. It suited him, she thought.

It was now or never.

“Stephan,” she said, stepping out of the shadows. He jerked, spilling the water on his shirt.

“What the hell?”

“It’s me. Melanie.” He just stared at her blankly. “The Granada? Two years ago?” It never entered her mind that he wouldn’t remember. “You invited me back to your room, remember? You said I was sweet and—” She stopped, feeling like a fool. “Never mind,” she said, turning away.

“Wait a minute. Did you have long brown hair?”

“Yes,” Melanie said slowly, a small spark of hope igniting.

“I remember you now. Yeah, the girl who jumped up on stage and sang ‘Unicorn’ with me, right?” He smiled

“That was me. I wanted to sing with you tonight, but it didn’t work out.” She glanced down at her ruined clothes and shrugged.

“You look different.” Stephan moved closer, making her heart thump. “Your hair’s so short now.” He touched her messy do. “No wonder I didn’t recognize you.”

“So what do you think? Do you like the way I look now?” Melanie held her breath while his eyes studied her from head to toe. He folded his arms, frowning a little.

“The boots are kick ass,” he said finally. “But really, Melanie, you look all the other groupies now, with the tight black dress, black eyeliner, piercings. The reason I liked you so much before was because you were different, with your jeans and long hair and cute top. You stood out from all the other girls.”

Melanie’s eyes stung. She’d done all this for him, thinking he’d like it. “I was so boring,” she said in a small voice. “Ordinary.”

“Sometimes ordinary’s a good thing,” Stephan said, offering her a small smile.

“I guess.” She bit her lip. “You look a lot different, too. The hair, mostly.”

He made a face. “Yeah, the hair, the hair, it’s always the hair.”

“You’ve lost weight, too,” she said, liking his new thinness, wondering what it would feel like to hug him. To kiss him again.

“Well, damn, was I that much of a porker before?” His dark brows came down over his eyes, a petulant cast to his mouth.

“Of course not,” she said quickly, putting her hand on his arm. “You looked great then, you look great now, Stephan. I—I wish…”

The door banged open, and a heavyset guy stuck his head out. Music blared, light spilled out, hurting her eyes.

“Stephan, whatchu doin, man? Everybody’s lookin for you.”

“I’ll be in soon, Dave,” Stephan said, waving him off. Dave glanced at Melanie and smirked before going back inside.

Stephan sighed. “One more concert tomorrow night, and that’s it for awhile. I am so tired.” He loosened his skull-printed tie, sighing again.

“It must get lonely on the road,” Melanie ventured, sliding her hand up his arm, liking the way his skin felt against hers. A shiver went down her spine as she remembered the night they’d spent together before.

“Sometimes,” he agreed, moving away. She dropped her hand, flushing. He didn’t want her. Well, she’d make him want her.

“I—I thought maybe we could get a drink after the show. Catch up a little, you know.” Melanie gave him what she hoped was a sultry smile.

Stephan smiled ruefully. “I can’t, Melanie,” he said, capping the bottle.

“Why not? Don’t you like me? You used to like me a lot.”

“I’m married.”

She stared at him. “What did you say?” she whispered.

“I got married about nine months ago.” He glanced at his watch. “I better get back inside. It was great seeing you again, Melanie.”

“Sure, Stephan,” she mumbled, turning away so she didn’t have to see him leave.
Married?

God, she was such a fool. Brushing a tear from her cheek, she stumbled down the alley to the sidewalk and started walking.